The Story of Saying No to Sushi

The last few years I spent living in New York City and working at Thomson Reuters before moving to England I was part of a team that, for most of my time there, was based in the same office as me. When I first started in NY, that wasn’t the case. I worked in an office where nobody I directly collaborated with was present. Eventually, the team grew, and most of the group ended up in our New York office. Today i am somewhere in the middle with much a the team in London but the people i daily communicate with spread out all over.

Having the team all together brought a lot of positive outcomes. Group meetings were more effective since we were often in person, which was a nice change from the typical phone meetings. One of the best parts was going out for lunch or coffee together. But by the time our lunches became a regular thing, I was trying to be heathier. Going out to eat several times a week didn’t align with my health goals, so I’d often skip lunch outings and opt for a sandwich in the cafeteria instead. However, I made up for it by joining the team for coffee once or twice a day.

The one exception to my lunch rule was sushi. It was relatively healthy, and I enjoyed it. Or it was healthy enough and I rationalised it as being ok. Whenever the team went out for sushi, I would usually join them. Over time, this became a bit of a pattern. I’d ask where they were going for lunch, and if it was anything other than sushi, I’d politely decline and stick to my sandwich. But if it was sushi, I’d think about it and often end up going with them.

That’s when my friend Faisal caught on to my pattern. If I declined to join for lunch, he’d jokingly suggest, “What if we go to sushi?” I’d grumble, and we’d end up at the sushi place. He started doing this more frequently, and I’d tell him they didn’t need to change plans just for me. I really didn’t want them to. But he would insist it was fine because several others loved sushi anyway. So, I’d curse him (playfully, sort of), and off we’d go—rinse and repeat.

It was delicious. Now, my current team is full of great people, and we get along well, but we’re rarely in the same office. Even when we are, it’s so hectic that we don’t have time for lunch outings. In a way, that’s good because I’m not tempted, but I do miss those sushi lunches with my New York team. I did recently get added to a chat group specifically for deciding were to go out for lunch to. I haven’t yet participated but you never know!

Leader

“Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Leader!”

The Simpsons The Joy of Sect, Season 9, Episode 13,

This past year the girls have been into the Simpsons recently. I love it because I still quote them often to this day. This quote keeps popping in my head recently.

Building My Own VPN

I started writing the background of this blog entry. I looked at my own archive and realised I had stopped using remote access software sometime in 2016. I think I got spooked by the changes that logmein did to their free plan or that it got bought by someone.  I forget.  As an alternative I started with remote SSH to remotely manage my growing network of raspberry pi’s. As my setup evolved, I eventually upgraded to OpenVPN for my home network. This way, when I was out with my iPad or laptop, I could connect to my home network and manage my media center.

When WireGuard came along, I switched to that because it was so easy to set up. I’ve been using it ever since for those rare occasions when I need remote access to my house.

Recently, I started experimenting with Tailscale, which is a mesh network implementation of WireGuard. The concept sounded great, and their free plan supports up to 100 devices across three users, which is more than enough for me. I set up Tailscale on my workstation and most of my Raspberry Pis. Now, instead of using WireGuard to connect to my home network when I want to access the media center, I just log my iPad onto the Tailscale mesh network, giving me seamless access to all my services. To make things easier, I use CNAME records with one of my domain names, so I don’t have to remember the cryptic Tailscale-provided domain names. It’s all been working smoothly.

With M and the girls away this week, I’ve had time to play around with Tailscale’s exit nodes. This feature allows me to route all my internet traffic through any Tailscale client I set up as an exit node. I found this intriguing because it lets me browse the internet as if I were at home, even when I’m out. I also experimented with setting up an exit node on my VPS in Texas, so I could route my traffic through there.

I recently noticed Tailscale offers Mullvad VPN exit nodes as an add-on. Mullvad is a solid VPN provider; if I didn’t already have Proton for other services, I’d probably use them. This add-on is essentially a full Mullvad VPN plan for five devices, allowing me to configure Mullvad exit nodes. I’ve been testing it over the past few days, both at home and on the go with my phone and iPad. Like any VPN, there’s a bit of overhead in terms of latency and bandwidth, but I’ve been using the London exit node and haven’t noticed any performance issues.

What’s great about this setup versus a traditional VPN is that I don’t have to toggle anything off to access my home network—my connections just work. This setup is letting me keep a VPN on all the time when I’m out, which I prefer. The Mullvad add-on costs an extra $5 per month on top of the Proton services I already use, but it’s been worth it so far. With a single click, I can switch the exit node to any other Mullvad location or one of my own, like my home network or VPS.

I’m actually so happy with this setup that I’m considering configuring the girls’ iPads to have always-on VPN through Tailscale.

an extra $5 per month on top of the Proton services I already use, but it’s been worth it so far. With a single click, I can switch the exit node to any other Mullvad location or one of my own, like my home network or VPS.

I’m actually so happy with this setup that I’m considering configuring the girls’ iPads to have always-on VPN through Tailscale.

Since I had some extra free time this week, I bought an additional Raspberry Pi 4 specifically as a VPN exit node for the house. I’d been experimenting with an existing Pi 4 as the exit node while it was handling other tasks, but I ran into some routing issues and didn’t want to troubleshoot on a device already in use. So, I spent about £50 on a new Pi and case. I do have a couple of Pi 3s lying around, but I didn’t want to use them due to their 100meg network bandwidth limitations. A Pi 5 seemed like overkill for this purpose, though I did pick one up for another project (which I might write about later).

So far, I’m very pleased with my new mesh VPN setup!

W Sisters and Arsenal vs Chelsea

For years, I’ve pondered which football team to follow. Before moving to England, I had no preference, so it felt like a big decision. Once you pick, you really can’t change. I even wrote about this in a separate entry. To make it official, I discussed it with my kids and got their buy-in on my choice. I had chosen Arsenal for several reasons (which I won’t go into again here).

I’d never been to a professional football match before. M, the girls, and I had talked about going, but without a team to root for, it didn’t feel worth the effort. This fall, though, I booked tickets. Since I have two daughters—and because it’s generally easier to get tickets—I chose an Arsenal Women’s match. Afterward, my daughters were looking at kits to purchase. That’s when my oldest announced she wasn’t getting one because she wasn’t sure if she’d follow Arsenal like the rest of us. Instead, she was considering Chelsea.

When I asked why Chelsea, she explained that one of her teachers is a Chelsea fan, and Alex Rider, a character from a book series she likes, is too. I jokingly told her I didn’t know where I’d gone wrong as a parent. She laughed, knowing I was kidding. I shared a story about my dad, a New York Giants (American Football) fan, and how, even though I wasn’t into football, if I had to choose, I’d have picked the Washington Redskins back then. My dad didn’t give me a hard time about it.

At the Arsenal match, I told T that if she enjoyed the experience, I’d look into taking her to a Chelsea home game to see if she liked them better. She agreed, while A was set on returning for another Arsenal match. (Side note: I keep reminding myself to say “match” instead of “game.”)

When I started looking into Chelsea home games, we stumbled upon the Chelsea vs. Arsenal game at Emirates Stadium. T then said if we went to that match, she’d “most likely” choose Arsenal. I offered the Chelsea home game option again, but she was set on seeing Arsenal face Chelsea at Emirates. Before the match, she even asked for the same light-blue Arsenal kit top that A had. I told her that once we bought it, there’d be no turning back. 🙂

The whole family went to the Arsenal vs. Chelsea match, and while we were all disappointed by Chelsea’s win, it was a great game. You can never be entirely sure with T, but I’m mildly confident she’s officially joined the rest of us as an Arsenal fan.

W Sisters and Our First Football Match

When the girls and I decided on a football club to follow, I mentioned wanting to schedule a time to attend a game with them. This past weekend, we finally went to our first football match, which was also our first time at Emirates Stadium. The girls had watched football on TV before, and we all really enjoyed it. Even M, who mildly got into it during the Euros, showed some interest. I wanted them to experience the excitement of a live game, especially in a packed stadium. With Arsenal Women now playing many home games at Emirates, it felt like the perfect opportunity.

We were not disappointed. Our seats were near midfield, offering a fantastic view of everything. The energy in the stadium was amazing, with around 42,000 people in attendance. It wasn’t quite a sellout, but when Arsenal scored or had a near miss, the place exploded with noise. Even T, who is still undecided on teams, got caught up in the excitement.

With M still in the States last minute, I ended up taking one of the girls’ friends to the game. She wasn’t even a football fan, let alone an Arsenal supporter, but she was probably louder than both my girls combined!

By the time the game ended, both girls agreed they wanted to do it again.

When we got home, A made the cover of the game programme the background on her tablet.

I’ve mentioned before how surprised I am at how much I enjoy watching football on TV. Experiencing it live was even better.

I’m marking this one down as a parenting win

Football Team Selection

If you’re American, no, I’m not talking about that kind of football. I’m talking about the kind that everyone else in the world calls football—or association football. For most of my life, though, I called it soccer.

When I was little, my parents encouraged me to be active and take up a sport. I wasn’t naturally good at sports, but I did play soccer from around age five until I was about 11. I wasn’t the best player, but I knew how to play and genuinely enjoyed it.

Despite playing soccer, I never really followed professional sports. Sure, I had favorite teams in American football, baseball, and hockey, but I didn’t actively watch games or check the standings. I never even had a basketball team. Among all the major U.S. sports, I liked hockey the most. There was something about it—maybe the fast-paced, low-scoring nature of the game. You had to stay focused on the action, even during quieter moments, because if you looked away, you might miss a goal. Baseball was just too slow for me, and I could never get into basketball. American football never fully grabbed my attention either—I’d watch, but I was never really invested.

When I moved to England, not much changed at first. In the first year or two, I didn’t follow any sports, just like I hadn’t in America. But as I started chatting with people, I used sports as a conversation starter. I would ask if they preferred football or cricket. To my surprise, the question was wrong—the real question, they said, was football or rugby. Even though it wasn’t the perfect icebreaker, I learned about people’s favorite teams and why they supported them.

Out of curiosity, I eventually watched an England women’s national team game, and to my surprise, I really enjoyed it. The same reasons I liked ice hockey seemed to apply to football as well. It’s a low-scoring game, and if you step away for a snack, you might miss a goal. But the real challenge came when I tried to pick a team to follow. Talking to locals, I noticed that many people supported a team based on family tradition or where they grew up. As an expat in London, I didn’t have that kind of loyalty. There were three Premier League teams that could be considered “local” to me, and one was particularly popular in my neighborhood.

Some colleagues suggested I support Manchester United, but these were colleagues from India, not locals. I had to explain that living in London, I wanted a team that felt more local.

A lot of people in my neighborhood were West Ham United fans, and their stadium was nearby in Stratford. But I never really felt drawn to West Ham, even though I had nothing against them. Supporting them would’ve been the easy choice, given how popular they were locally.

I knew a couple of people who supported Tottenham, and their history intrigued me. I seriously considered them. I also had friends who supported Arsenal, and I considered them too. For about two years, I was torn between Tottenham and Arsenal, though for much of that time, it was more of an academic debate since I wasn’t watching much football.

Then, the Women’s Euros and the World Cup came along. We watched the England women’s team, and we really enjoyed the games. We also watched several matches from the men’s World Cup. By this spring, I knew I had to make a decision.

In the end, two factors helped me choose. Between Arsenal and Tottenham, Arsenal seemed to have more of a historical edge—by that, I mean they had old records of winning streaks that stood out. Tottenham had always been a strong team, but they didn’t have that same kind of legacy. It’s hard to explain, but it just felt like Arsenal had more history behind them. 

The final decision came when I was out at lunch with the girls one day. We talked about it, and since it was going to be a family decision, I let them weigh in. They agreed on Arsenal, and just like that, we became Arsenal fans.

We don’t have any team gear yet, and we haven’t been to a game either, but I’m looking to get tickets for one of the women’s matches at the Emirates this fall. I think it’ll be the perfect introduction for the girls to live football since they’ve already seen matches from the Euros and World Cup, both men’s and women’s.

I was surprised at how much I’ve come to enjoy watching football. When I think about it, the similarities to hockey explain a lot of it. Now, we’ll see if I keep up with the games during the season.

I wrote this over the summer. I figured it was time to post since we are going to our first match tomorrow. More on that another day.

Jack Johnson is The Soundtrack of My Kids Childhood

Today being T’s twelfth birthday I thought about this topic a bit as I put a playlist on our speakers when the girls were getting ready for school.

I’ve said more than a few times that Jack Johnson is the soundtrack of my children’s childhood so far, and I couldn’t be happier about it.

Of course, we listened to plenty of other children’s songs and artists—music for the girls. But when it came to music for me, especially something relaxing, it was Jack Johnson on repeat. He became my go-to for calming playlists.

It all started with T’s first-year cake smash photo shoot. When she turned one, we arranged a session to capture her smashing the cake and just general pictures with her. That photographer ended up becoming our family photographer until we moved to England. During that first visit to her studio, she played a channel that I instantly loved. I had to ask her what it was. She told me it was a Pandora channel called Jack Johnson’s children’s music, and I was intrigued. We had Pandora at the time, so I immediately started listening to that channel.

From there, it expanded into his general music. It was soothing, easygoing, and quickly became my “happy music”—the kind I’d put on when I wanted to unwind but wasn’t in the mood for classical music.

Before we moved to England, M and I got to see him in concert at the Forest Hills Arena near our apartment. I think M still teases me occasionally for how much I play his music. Even now, when I’m not sure what to put on, Jack Johnson is still my default.

While he’s mostly my go-to, I do have playlists that fit within the same laid-back genre.

W Sisters and OMG

Both of my kids have started saying “OMG” lately, and I’m not sure where they picked it up from. But when I figure out who’s been saying it around them enough for it to stick, I’ll be sure to express my gratitude in a fitting way.

Saint Michaels Mount

The only way on this island is by boat or walk across at low tide. I warned the girls that when it was time to go we either left to walk out before the tide came. The alternative was they could stay with mommy and take a boat back. We all made it back to the mainland without any boat trips!

A Friends Friend

I didn’t know Joey and Chandlers dog had a friend? And they ran off together to the hotel the Beatles stayed at in Cornwall!