The Not Quite Two Day Work Week

When I was growing up, basically from first or second grade through high school, my dad worked in an emergency room. He worked there before and after that too, but that stretch of time is the one I remember most clearly. And at some point during those years he got promoted and became the group leader for the physician assistants. Which meant he controlled the schedule.

That schedule was, looking back, kind of wild.

He technically worked only two days a week. Tuesdays and Thursdays. But those two days were monsters. He would get up around six thirty in the morning, head out. I rarely saw him in the mornings. He wouldn’t get home until eleven or eleven thirty at night. Eighteen hour days. He would get home long after everyone else was asleep, put on the TV for a bit to unwind, and eventually go to bed. The only reason I know this was because my bedroom was near the living room, so I would hear him come in sometimes.

Those two huge days added up to about thirty six hours a week, and then he had administrative office hours scattered elsewhere. That part was whenever he wanted, so the rest of his week was essentially free time. He used to tell me he loved those early morning drives. He would throw on scrubs, be out the door in minutes, and the roads were empty. We lived in Queens near the Throgs Neck Bridge and he worked in the Bronx, so it was a quick trip. From the way he described it, he was not overly committed to speed limits, and because of his job, I do not think any police officer ever gave him trouble. Then coming home late at night was the same thing. Empty roads, easy ride. He really liked that routine.

Later on, when my sister went to college, he picked up a side job on Wednesdays to help cover tuition. That was at Rikers Island. His hospital had the medical contract there, so once a week he did a four to twelve shift at the prison clinic. He hated that job. They would literally lock him into the clinic area for his own protection and he would sit there with a tiny portable television, because this was the late eighties and entertainment options were pretty much nonexistent. If something happened, they would either bring an inmate to him or escort him out to whoever needed care. He did it strictly for the money, and he knew the exact week he was planning to quit because that was the moment he would no longer need the extra income our college tuition’s.

When I got older and went off to college, he still had the same overall routine. I would call my parents on Sundays for the usual check in, but if I wanted to talk specifically to my dad, I would call him on Wednesday mornings before he left for Rikers. He told me once that I was one of the only people who ever called him on Wednesdays. Everyone else avoided him because he was grumpy about going to that job and made sure the whole house knew it. But I always knew he would be home on those mornings, and for whatever reason, I never minded calling then.

Eventually he moved out of the emergency room entirely and into a more administrative role. More of a normal nine to five thing. That was sometime toward the end of my college years, and there is another whole story about how he got that job, but that is for another day.

Downsizing the Pi Network

I keep a blog idea board in my Trello app so I can track all the things I want to write about, because I’ll come up with an idea for a post and then promptly forget it. Of course, sometimes I also add it to the board and still forget about it for years. By the time I rediscover it, the topic isn’t relevant anymore, or I’ve already written something similar. But I digress.

One of those old notes was about the state of my Pi network. I wrote it down a year ago, maybe updated it earlier this year, and now I’ve finally made enough changes that it’s worth revisiting.

I’ve owned pretty much every generation of Raspberry Pi. Actually, I think I’ve owned all the main variants from each generation, not the tiny ones or the 400/500 models that are built into keyboards, but all the standard boards. I bought the original Raspberry Pi 1, set it up, played with it, and then never really deployed it for anything meaningful. By the time I wanted to, the Pi 2 had already come out, so I bought one of those. At some point I got rid of the Pi 1, maybe gave it away, but I’ve kept just about every other one since.

The backbone of my original home network was built on Raspberry Pi 2s. I had five of them running my early private cloud backup network. Over time, I upgraded them with new cases, official Wi-Fi adapters, and less reliance on Ethernet. Then the Pi 3s came out, and I added a few of those for compute jobs. Then came the Pi 4s, and I gradually shifted everything over again.

Eventually, I stopped using the 2s and most of the 3s, and my little network of Pis became mostly 4s. I think I had around four or five of them running various workloads. When the Pi 5s came out, I didn’t jump immediately, but I have about four of them now.

Funny thing is, I’m using less compute now than ever. The main purpose of the Pi cluster used to be my Docker setup, which ran parts of my media center, a Minecraft server, and Homebridge for connecting Ring cameras to Apple HomeKit. Most of that has since moved or shut down.

I replaced the Ring cameras, so no need for Homebridge. Plex moved to my Synology DiskStation because the transcoding works better there. The Docker stack was easy enough to migrate, so that freed up another Pi.

These days, I’m really only using:

One Resilio Sync node for backups One BorgBackup setup for immutable backups One Pi as a Tailscale exit node And a Raspberry Pi 4 running Pi-hole for DHCP and DNS in the house

Everything else runs on Pi 5s, though even that’s more power than I need. When I built out the 5s earlier this year, I decided to stop using SD cards and external drives. I got cases with SSD add-ons, most with 256 GB drives, and one with a 2 TB SSD for backups. It’s a neat all-in-one box setup.

The Pi 4, especially the 8 GB version, is still a perfectly good piece of kit, but I just don’t have enough for it to do. So I’ve started selling them off on eBay. I’ve already sold a couple of the 4s and gotten a surprisingly good return for hardware that’s several years old. I’ve sold all of my 3s and am now selling the 2s. Apparently, people still buy them for nostalgia or small projects.

A few of my old ones are in official cases, and two are even in LEGO cases with camera kits. They look great, but I’m trying to pare everything down so I’m left with only the Pi 5s, and maybe I’ll move the Pi-hole over to a 5 while I’m at it.

Maintaining the hardware takes a decent amount of time and effort, and with what I’m doing now, renting a virtual private server is just simpler. My web hosting, where this blog lives, runs on a VPS with 2.5 GB of RAM, a single virtual core, and about 40 GB of storage, all for around $23 a year. It’s based in Dublin and does the job beautifully.

Building a Pi 5 setup can easily cost around four times that, even if it gives me more power than I’ll ever use. I’m not planning to get rid of the 5s I already have since they’re great machines, but I’ve reduced what I actually run on them. Justifying keeping all the older models sitting around isn’t really there anymore. For most of what I run these days, a VPS or my upgraded DiskStation handles it fine.

So yes, I’m officially downgrading, selling off hardware, consolidating services, and simplifying. I still love tinkering, but the Pi 5s are plenty. The rest? Off to eBay.

My Imaginary Friends (A 15-Year Tradition I Didn’t Mean to Start)

When M and I were just dating, we ended up one night at Rudy’s, that dive bar on 10th Avenue in Manhattan, somewhere in the 30s or 40s, where you get a free hot dog with every drink. I still have no idea why that’s their thing, but it’s a thing.

Anyway, we were walking in, and right by the door there’s this big pig statue. Like, a life-size pig, standing upright, greeting everyone as they stumble inside. I don’t remember if I was the one who wanted to take a picture with it or if M said, “Hey, you should totally take a picture with that weird pig,” but either way, I did.

Side note: while we were trying to get this very important photo, some very drunk woman tried to insert herself into the moment. She might have been hitting on me, which was equal parts awkward and hilarious, because M and I both just stood there like, “Ma’am, no.” We brushed her off, got the photo, went inside, had a drink (and a hot dog, probably), and that was that. A fun night, a random photo, end of story. Or so I thought.

Fast forward less than a year later, we’re in Amsterdam. I take another photo, this time with a giant anthropomorphic French fry container. (If you’ve been there, you know exactly what I’m talking about.) And somehow, without meaning to, it became a thing.

Over the years, it’s turned into this quiet little tradition: whenever I come across an inanimate character, statue, mascot, random object with a face. I have to take a picture with it. Doesn’t matter where I am. A cruise ship, a street corner, a theme park, an airport gift shop. If it’s there, I’m probably posing with it.

I’ve got photos with everything from a teddy bear sitting on a bench in New Mexico to Winston Churchill and Sherlock Holmes statues in London. There’s one with a giant Hello Kitty in Bangkok. The list goes on. At this point, I probably have a hundred or more of these photos—enough to make a coffee table book no one asked for.

I’ve started calling them my imaginary friends. I know, they’re not actually imaginary (or alive), but “inanimate friends” just doesn’t have the same ring to it.

Now that the kids are older, they sometimes join in, or they play photographer while I strike my now-traditional pose. Sometimes I’ll get a picture with them, then immediately request a solo shot because, well, tradition.

I didn’t plan this. I didn’t set out to start a collection. But here we are, fifteen years later, and it’s one of those odd little through-lines in my life that I can’t help but keep going.

I might even try to count how many I’ve got, challenge accepted.

So yes, this is a thing. A ridiculous, wonderful, slightly embarrassing thing that makes me smile every time. And now, you know about it too.

Michael

A week ago today I was in New Jersey for the funeral of my brother in law, Michael. On January twenty sixth, he lost a short battle with cancer.

He was the closest thing I will ever have to a brother.

Yes, I actually have two other brothers in law, and I get along with them. With one of them, I even have a lot more in common than I ever did with Michael. But my relationship with Michael was always different. It was its own thing.

We were not inseparable. We did not spend huge amounts of time together. But we got along easily, naturally, and without effort.

He was one of the most colourful people I have ever known.

On the flight from London to New Jersey for the funeral, I was texting with two of my oldest friends from college. One of them said something that stuck with me, something I had recently been talking to someone else about as well. A good friend is someone who, even after years of not speaking, you can pick up with immediately, as if no time has passed at all.

That was Michael.

We might go long stretches without talking, but when we did, it felt like we had just seen each other yesterday. No catching up required. No awkwardness. Just an easy continuation.

Like I said, he was a very colourful guy, and there are stories. Plenty of them. I will write about some of those later.

But for now, this is all I have.

I am going to miss my brother.

Please Take My Money (Sort Of): Zizzi Edition

Here’s another entry in my ongoing series about payment apps and POS systems, otherwise known as “please, for the love of all things, take my money.”

This time, it’s about Zizzi.

We like Zizzi. Pretty good for a chain, consistent, close to home. The kids enjoy it, and I’m a sucker for a solid lasagna, so it works.

A while back, they introduced the option to order right from your table. You scan, browse the menu, and place your order online. In theory, convenient. In reality, not so much.

The first time we tried it, the whole thing collapsed like a bad soufflé. I think we spent 15 minutes trying to order before admitting defeat. Then the waiter came over, who, to their credit, also had trouble with the system. When the staff can’t make the app work, that’s not a user problem. That’s a “this is broken” problem. Logging in, confirming the order, something always failed. After twenty minutes of tech support cosplay, we gave up and just ordered the old-fashioned way.

Since then, I’ve avoided the “order at the table” gimmick. My appetite doesn’t need a debugging session before pasta.

That said, Zizzi redeems itself with their payment setup. That’s where they actually get things right. You scan the QR code, pay with Apple Pay (no logins, no fuss), and it just works. Recently we had one of the kids’ birthday dinners there, large table, chaos, cake, the usual. The service was great, and paying through the app was quick and clean.

There was one hiccup: the app didn’t let us add a tip. And we really wanted to, because the staff had gone above and beyond with the birthday stuff. We ended up having to flag someone down, who couldn’t add it either. Apparently, the built-in service charge meant we were done. Nice in theory, but awkward when you actually want to leave extra.

Still, credit where it’s due. Ordering? Fail. Paying? Solid.

Zizzi gets a mixed review from me, half frustration, half appreciation. The tech that takes my money works great. The tech that takes my order? Not so much.

My Quiet Breakup with the AirPods Max

I have always been a Bose guy. For years I used their wired gel earbuds, which were way better than the old Apple earbuds we all pretended were acceptable back then. I even had one of their sound bar’s when I downsized from a full five speaker setup. Bose has always been one of those brands people either love or love to argue about, but I have always been in the “I like their stuff” camp.

About ten years ago, maybe more, I bought the Bose QuietComfort 2 noise cancelling headphones. They were around two to three hundred dollars at the time, and they were fantastic. They still work. Every now and then I would pick them up and think, “Do I really need anything better than this”

Fast forward to 2024. Apple had the AirPods Max out and I kept circling them like some kind of expensive tech craving predator. They were wireless, premium, comfortable looking, and supposedly had incredible noise cancellation. A friend of mine had a very specific problem with them, the kind of issue that only bothers a certain type of person, but still, the Max looked like a great piece of gear.

Meanwhile, I was mostly using regular AirPods for day to day things. They were fine. Good enough for the train, calls, and everyday commuting. At some point I got the AirPods Pro, but the timeline is fuzzy. Either way, the big over ear headphones were for serious travel and the little buds were for everything else.

Then my wife mentioned she was curious about noise cancelling headphones. Her use case was tiny, maybe once a month. I could not see her spending a lot on a brand new pair, so I said, “Do you want mine” meaning the Bose. And in that moment my brain went, “Well, this is the excuse I needed.” I handed her the Bose, she accepted them, and I immediately gave myself permission to finally get the AirPods Max.

And that is exactly what I did. She still has the Bose, and I walked away happy with the Max.

To be fair, they are genuinely great headphones. I used them in the office all the time. I used them on planes and they were fantastic. I never wore them while walking around because they are too big and clunky for me, even though plenty of people seem very comfortable doing exactly that. Good for them, not for me.

Eventually I started noticing a familiar problem: the glasses issue.

I have worn glasses forever and over ear headphones always put pressure on the frames. Sometimes it is fine, and then other times it slowly becomes “Why does the side of my head hurt like someone has been squeezing it for an hour” With the Bose it was manageable. With the AirPods Max and their firmer ear cushions, it became noticeably worse. My most recent pair of glasses, which might be wider, made it borderline uncomfortable. On flights I would take the Max off every so often to give my head a break. I even watched a movie without my glasses just to avoid the pressure, which felt ridiculous.

Around the same time, my regular AirPods finally died, as they eventually do. So I upgraded to the AirPods Pro. And I was honestly surprised at how good the noise cancellation was. Surprisingly good. “Maybe I do not actually need the giant expensive headphones” good.

I took a couple of trips this past year where I brought both the Max and the Pros. Every time, the Pros won. Comfort alone did it. Eventually I told myself, “If I take the Max on this trip and do not use them at all, I will sell them.”

That is exactly what happened.

Then Apple released the newest AirPods Pro that September with even better noise cancellation, and I basically bought them immediately.

So in November I finally sold the AirPods Max on eBay and I do not miss them at all.

They are fantastic hardware. They look great and sound great. But they are not comfortable for me, and I am not someone who walks around the city wearing over ear headphones every day. I tried. It is just not who I am. The amount of space in my carry on that I saved by not using them is also noticable.

Now I am down to the AirPods Pro for travel, commuting, calls, and pretty much everything else. They are basically always in my pocket. They are small, comfortable, and they do not crush my glasses into the side of my head. I keep a spare pair of old wired earbuds in my bag and that is all I need.

So yes, technically the AirPods Max are better. But the headphones I actually use are the ones that win.

The Day My Dad Ended Up Under a Bus

When I was really young, my dad used to volunteer at the local ambulance corps. That is not what this story is about, but it helps explain something about him. Before he became a physician assistant, he had been an EMT, and he always loved the excitement of being out in the field. He loved the show MASH. More on that another time, unless I already wrote about it. He loved that whole world of organised chaos. But as he got older and settled into his work in the emergency room, he did not really go out into the field anymore. He just got his daily adrenaline fix from being inside the trauma room.

Except for one time.

This was in the late nineteen eighties or very early nineties. There was an accident right outside the hospital where he worked. A man had been hit by a bus. Literally right in front of the building. When that happens, you do not wait for an ambulance to arrive. The emergency room staff goes outside. They are already there, so they just run out and start helping.

My dad was part of the group that went outside that day. They found the man pinned underneath the bus, stuck with his little shopping cart beside him. My dad ended up crawling under the bus with him and staying there until they could free him and get him into the emergency room.

There was a news clipping about it. I am pretty sure I still have it somewhere, or at least a photo of it. I want to find it before I actually post this publicly. But yes, that really happened: my dad was literally under a bus helping rescue someone.

The part he always remembered most was what happened afterward. The man was an older guy on his way back from the market. His groceries had spilled everywhere. Milk had burst open, but somehow the cookies survived. So after all the chaos, my dad said the man kept offering cookies to everyone. Just sitting there, grateful to be alive, handing out cookies.

From what I remember, the man survived and did fine. And for my dad, it was one of those rare moments where he got to go back into the field.

Not everyone can say their dad once crawled under a bus and then celebrated with cookies, but apparently that was just a normal Tuesday in his world.

The Cat, the Blanket, and the Blame

For Christmas, M bought me a very comfortable throw blanket.

Well. Presumably for me. Possibly for the cat. Or is it for the cat and I wanted it. I forget.

The idea was simple. Leave it on top of the comforter so there is something extra cozy. This matters because sometimes the cat comes onto the bed, and when it was warmer out, I could just peel part of the comforter off myself, drop it on top of him, and he would happily snuggle into it and fall asleep.

He is a Devon Rex. He likes warmth. A lot.

If I do not do that, he might crawl fully under the covers and turn himself into a little croissant right next to me. Or, more often than not, directly on top of me. That is a whole separate story involving him sitting on my chest while I sleep. Which, if I am being honest, is actually pretty comfortable once he settles down.

The only downside is the settling down part. There is some light clawing involved. Not aggressive. More exploratory. It sounds worse than it is.

Anyway.

In the winter, sharing the comforter like that does not really work. Giving him his own blanket on top is much easier. He can be moved. I can adjust. Everyone wins.

This is where things get complicated.

For a while now, A has had a fuzzy blanket that she wraps him up in. He sleeps in her bed, and she basically curls herself around him. She does not care that she is practically on top of him. He does not care either. This has been their arrangement for some time.

So when the new blanket appeared on our bed, A immediately declared that I was stealing him from her.

Now, she was mostly kidding. Mostly. But what she very conveniently glossed over was the fact that he originally slept with us, and only relocated because she provided a better blanket based incentive program.

I honestly did not think this would change anything. She goes to bed earlier. She snuggles him aggressively. I assumed he would continue choosing her.

Instead, what has been happening this week is that he hangs out downstairs with us in the evening, usually on someone’s lap, because he is essentially a heat vampire. Then he moves upstairs and parks himself on the radiator until about midnight, enjoying what I can only describe as a personal sauna.

After that, he chooses a bed.

And apparently, he has been choosing the one with the new blanket.

Here is the part that makes this truly unfair.

I am getting blamed for all of this.

Despite the fact that he is actually cuddling next to M, not me. Despite the fact that I did not invite him. Despite the fact that I did not even buy the blanket, although I did ask for it often.

A is not having any of it. It is still my fault.

Not that it really matters to me.

I am just saying.

Please Take My Money: Wagamama Edition

I spend a lot of time talking about bad experiences because, honestly, there are plenty to go around. But every so often, someone actually gets it right. And today, or at least initially, that someone was Wagamama, until they then later didn’t but no spoilers yet.

I like Wagamama. One of my daughters likes Wagamama. The other one… not so much. Which means we do not go as often as I would like. Recently, though, the less enthusiastic one has been a bit more open to it, which has resulted in a few bonus noodle nights for me.

The food is always good. The service is consistently fine. And it is one of those places where everyone seems slightly happier after they eat. But what caught my attention this time was not the food. It was the payment process.

After the meal, instead of trying to make awkward eye contact with a server while doing the universal “please bring the bill” hand wave, there is a small QR code on the table. You scan it and it immediately knows what you ordered. No typing. No logging in. No nonsense. Just “Here is your total.”

You can pay right there with Apple Pay, or Google Pay if that is your thing and you enjoy giving Google more information about your life. No account creation. No mysterious third party checkout flow. You can even have the itemised receipt emailed to you, which, as someone who really dislikes handing out an email address, says a lot.

It was fast. It was clean. It worked.

They also let you order food through their app or website. I am not entirely sure which one it is because I have not actually tried it yet, but it looks slick. Given how smooth the in-restaurant payment felt, I assumed they had nailed that part too.

So at that point, credit where it was due. Seamless checkout, transparent receipts, and very little friction. This is how digital payments should work.

Then we went back.

Side note first: A was totally fine with going this time, which feels like real progress and deserves its own quiet celebration.

The reason I am updating this entry, though, is that paying was not quite as effortless as I remembered. This time the QR code was still there, but we also had to enter a table number and the location name. I swear we did not have to do that before. Maybe they changed it. Maybe I forgot. Either way, it added a bit more friction.

What really stood out, though, was that even after choosing Apple Pay, I still had to enter personal details. Not the worst possible outcome since I did not have to register an account, but still more personally identifiable information than I would have liked. Enough that I noticed it. Enough that it annoyed me.

For what it is worth, I just used slightly inaccurate details since it did not affect the Apple Pay transaction at all. The payment went through fine. But that kind of thing chips away at the “this is perfect” feeling pretty quickly.

So yes, they still get a lot right. It is still better than most places. But it is not quite as frictionless as I first thought.

Which, honestly, is how most good systems fail. Not catastrophically. Just by adding one extra step that did not really need to be there.

Still, the katsu chicken was excellent. And I will absolutely go back.

Eight Years, Somehow

December always ends up full of nostalgia posts for me. I am not normally that nostalgic, but once a year feels acceptable. Maybe twice a year, since let’s face it, I do the same thing for T’s birthday.

A’s birthday is on the twenty eighth, and the very next day is the anniversary of when we moved to England. Those two days back to back almost guarantee that I am going to get a little reflective whether I want to or not.

On one hand, it feels like we just moved. Like it was yesterday that we were packing up and flying out, starting a new life in London. On the other hand, it feels like forever ago, because today makes eight years.

It is always hard to put into words, and I am pretty sure that over the years I have repeated myself when trying to describe this feeling.

What brought it home this year was photos. Our Apple TV screensaver cycles through randomised, curated photos from our albums, and this week a lot of older ones have come up. Sometimes it is recent stuff. Sometimes it is photos from the early years here. And because we have now been here for eight years, there are a lot of those.

You can tell exactly when they were taken. The girls are tiny. Four and five years old. Sometimes they are standing in rooms that look familiar but slightly different, before we did work on the house. I can date photos just by looking at walls, floors, or furniture. It does not feel that long ago, but it clearly was, because the people in those pictures are so much smaller than the people who live here now.

That is where the nostalgia creeps in.

It has been the better part of a decade since we moved. We love where we are. We are very lucky to be here. There is no regret attached to that at all. But it is still strange to look back and realize how much time has passed, even when it feels like it slipped by quietly.

Eight years. Or, if my rough math is right, two thousand nine hundred and twenty two days.

That is a lot of life packed into what still feels, somehow, like not that long ago.